im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
