I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
