Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
