matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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