Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
