Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize