just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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