At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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