Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
