i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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