Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
