apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
