we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
