He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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