Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
