Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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