Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We are all done wearing pants today
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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