we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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