it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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