Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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