I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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