Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
