Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
