Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
