were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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