It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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