Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
