If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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