she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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