I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i barfeds in our rink
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
