Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
