we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
