coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
