I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
