i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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