So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
