It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
