Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
