I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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