guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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