Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
