just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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