i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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