i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Small penises have feelings too.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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