We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
