This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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