can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
