So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
