She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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