oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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