u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
