are you still at the devil's house?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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